Writelab

You can receive feedback on your writing in English online with this useful tool:
writelab.com

You will need to register, but then you can try out the tool for free.  If you register as an instructor, you can register a class as well.

Let me know if you would like help with this. I am waiting for this to be available in Spanish. :)

Generous Reading

This is a wonderful resource for what we have talked about in terms of responding to student work:

http://scholarcommons.sc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1006&context=edcs_facpub

I would love to discuss it with any of you.

Editing Tips

Editing Tips:  Use a list of these tips with students to help them to edit their own and each other's work. 

1.  Watch for places where you have unintentionally repeated words or phrases. Use resources to look for other words you could use.  

2. Substitute more specific words for vague generic words.  Use “Jeep” instead of “car”.  Look for where you can eliminate words like “thing” and substitute a more specific word. 

3. Work to eliminate the verb “to be,” (is, are, was, were) especially in description.  Substitute action verbs.  

4. Look for ways to combine sentences.  For example.  “He does not smoke. He does not drink.”  Or “He is rich.  He is very unhappy.”

5. Streamline transitions—Try to avoid phrases like “Saturday rolled around” or “We could hardly wait for Saturday to roll around.”

7. Try to recast or combine sentences which begin with “There is” or “It is”.  “There are three levels of teams in my school which anyone can try out for.”
8. Eliminate filler phrases such as “I think” or “In my opinion” or “Needless to say” 
9. Vary your sentence length. Look for places where you have a series of choppy sentences and see where they might be combined.  If you have a series of long sentences, consider adding a short punchy sentence to break up the rhythm and catch your reader’s attention. 
10. Look at your paragraphs, and evaluate points of emphasis.  Your best sentence should be the last one in the paragraph.  Put your next best sentence first in the paragraph.  Bury the boring stuff in the middle of paragraphs.  Try to vary paragraph length. If you have a great sentence buried in the middle of your paragraph, try to move it to the end, or consider a paragraph break after that sentence.
11. Use figurative language (similes, metaphors) to make your writing more vivid. “Those sugar-brown Mobile girls…are as sweet and plain as buttercake.”
12. Add participles (ing phrases and ed phrases) to elaborate more on crucial sentences.  “The soldier, gripping the handle of the gun tightly, sweating in the desert heat, feeling utterly lost and alone, pushed his way into the abandoned building.”
13.  Add appositives (naming phrases) to elaborate on your sentences:  “My mother, the woman who once told me that boys were just naturally smarter than girls, now claims that gender played no part in the way she treated my brother and me.”
14.  Add personification through the use of verbs and phrases… “The mountain threatened to engulf us.”
15. Experiment with adjectives out of order.   “Sunday shirts will billow on hangers from the doorjamb, stiffly starched and white.” 
16. Use sensory details; expand beyond what you saw to what you heard, smelled, etc. 

"I am" poem

The "I am" poem is a way to create a poem while practicing grammatical structures that students can use to enhance their writing.

Come up with three objects you could use to represent yourself in the poem

Choose one. 

Come up with three pairs of adjectives to describe the object, think back to the metaphorical relationship to yourself as you do it. Write them as [adjective] and [adjective]

Experiment with the order of the adjectives.

Come up with three “ ing phrases” that express action (present participial phrase) What are three things this object can do?  Write this as an "ing phrase".  For example, if my object were a baseball, some possibilities might be:

• landing in the catcher's mitt
• sailing over the left field wall
• bouncing in the dirt in front of home plate

Come up with three noun phrases or descriptive phrases to describe the object (appositive)

Again, using the example of the baseball, these might be literal or metaphorical as in the third example here:

• a white stitched sphere
• a solid unforgiving orb
• the test of my abilities

Choose one or more from each list you have made to create a poem in this pattern:

I am a _________________

Adjective and adjective

Participial phrase

Appositive

End with a summary phrase that relates to the previous parts of the poem. 

Of course, feel free to change this up any way you want, to use more of any kind of phrase you want, etc.  The point of the exercise is to increase vocabulary, provide tools for working with writing and help students to think metaphorically, but sometimes the poems themselves are quite good. 

Author's Notes

What are author’s notes?

            Author’s notes are notes from you (the author) to me (your reader) telling me what I need to know in order to respond effectively, wisely and well to your work. Remember that I do not grade your papers, so there is no point in trying to conceal the problems with the paper. I would really like to know what you think about your piece.

What should you include in your author’s note?

• The history of the piece—how did you come up with the idea?  What decisions did you make as you wrote the piece?  How did you decide how to approach it?  What did you change as you wrote it? What were you trying to show the reader?  How does this draft compare to earlier versions? What problems have you encountered and what strategies did you use to try to solve them?  What response did you get along the way and how did it affect you?

• Your evaluation of the piece—What do you think of this paper? What do you think is working well in this piece? What lines or parts of the paper do you like?  What is frustrating you? What do you think really needs work? What problems have you been unable to solve?

• The response you would find most helpful. What would you like me to comment on about the paper?  What do you want to know from your readers?  What advice or assessment do you need?

Some things you can do in your author’s notes:

1.     Ask Questions

Ø  Ask me-as-reader questions about the effects of the text.

Ø  Ask me questions about meeting particular requirements of the assignment.

Ø  Ask specific questions about specific passages.

·       Examples:

o   I wasn't sure about keeping the third paragraph on page two -- it seemed like extra stuff I didn't need, but then I cut it after peer review and people seemed confused, so I put it back in.  Do you think it's necessary?

o   I’m not sure my ending works.  I don’t want to tell too much, but do I leave the reader confused?

2.     Discuss the process of composition/research/revisions

·       Example: 

o   I had written this completely differently, but then decided it was too personal.  I attach both versions.  What do you think?

3.     Explain what you were trying to do:

·       Example: 

Ø  In this paper, I want to show the reader how music affects people with autism.  I want to present my research and persuade people that music exposure and instruction is really important for autistic kids. 

4. Comment on strategies:

Ø  What strategies did you use on this writing assignment that worked well for you? Consider strategies of inquiry, drafting, and product in your answer.

Ø  Why do you think they worked well? In other words, what did each strategy do for you that improved your ability to write or your writing?

Ø  Under what conditions might you use these strategies again?

5.     Explain what resources you have used to complete the assignment.

·       Example:

Ø  I asked a friend to read it over for me and check my grammar.

What aren’t author’s notes?

In your author’s note, you should NOT:

            Apologize for problems with the paper

            Complain about the assignment

            Make excuses for the paper

            Defend your paper against possible attack.

            Write more about what is in the paper

            Explain what the reader needs to know in order to understand the paper.

           

Example of Episodic Writing

Kendal Lariviere

September 19, 2013

Plastic on Wood

            I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. A chicken holding a foreign object in her hand and attempting to hit a bright orange ball with it. Why aren't we allowed to use the other side of the stick? It would be much easier if we did. The ball doesn't move very well in the thick grass, and its making me feel even clumsier than I already am. I am more than ready to be done maneuvering myself around those stupid fluorescent cones when the whistle finally blows. I stand up with relief, only to find a sharp twinge of pain in my lower back. This certainly wasn't a sport meant for tall people. We gather around coach and she starts calling names out and sending certain people to the other side of the field. Suddenly, my name was called. I was one of those people. As I take my position on the other side of the 50 yard line, I realize that most of the players are around me are returners. I suddenly get a rush of excitement. "Is this varsity?!" I exclaim. One of the older girls tells me to shush because coach is still calling names, but she smiles at me. That smile said it all.

           

            I had woken up so much earlier than I needed to. Why did I wake up so early? I had barely slept last night with my stomach tying itself in knots, and now I'm exhausted. I eat my bagel with cream cheese, not even bothering to toast it. I arrive at the field and recognize a few faces, but most of these people are strangers. I hate going into a situation and not knowing what is going to happen. I turn in my paperwork and sit down on cold the pavement next to the dewy grass. "Alright ladies, put your sneakers on. We're going to run the timed mile this morning." I immediately regret that bagel; it was sitting like a rock in my stomach. Why hadn't anyone told me about the timed mile? I have never run one before. I watch the upperclassmen go first. It doesn't look easy. Oh God, it’s my turn. It’s all a blur. I'm trying to ignore the weight of the bagel sloshing in my stomach. I have the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. There's no way I can hold it for two more laps! Ignore it. Fighting with myself, I finally cross the finish line and hear "7:30!" I can live with that, as long as don't have to do it again.

            It’s so awkward standing in front of all our parents listening politely as our coach talks about each of us. I'm trying so hard not to squirm too much, or giggle at every comment my friends are whispering. She begins talking about me, and I immediately feel heat creeping up from my neck. I can't help it. It’s too awkward standing up here in front of everyone. Of course I'm as red as a tomato. Coach finishes her spiel with my accomplishment of the season: 17 total goals scored, the majority of my team's goals that year. I'm not embarrassed anymore. I feel that rush, the same one I felt every one of the 17 times I heard that sweet smack of plastic on wood. I was hooked.

            I hate this. Gasping, the cold fall air burning my lungs. It doesn't matter that it’s one of the coldest days yet, I'm dripping with sweat. Why these sprints are necessary I don't understand. Maybe I do, but that doesn't make me hate them any less. This isn't what I signed up for. I want glory. I want the rush of victory and the cheering of my teammates. I want the ecstasy of running back to the center of the field after succeeding against the defense, just to do it all over again. Not this burning sensation in my lungs. Not the feeling of my quads tearing in half. And certainly not the demonic shriek of my coach's voice. "Faster! Faster! Or we'll do it again!" I can't do it again. I hate this.

            I look at the bright red numbers and hate what I see: 0-0. Like we haven't been working our asses off for thirty minutes, but we've got nothing to show for it. I look at my teammates, my family. They all look just like me. Bent over our sticks, our chests heaving, trying to catch our breath. Sweat pours off our faces. Coach is spewing off something about how important this game is, but I don't hear what she is saying. None of us do. She doesn't have to tell us what this game means. Everything depends on the next thirty minutes. The whistle sounds and we're back on the field, I'm watching the defense drive the other team out of our circle. It’s a mess. Suddenly, the ball shoots free to the midfield. I take off. Watching my midfielder over my shoulder, I'm sprinting up the field. She's going to get stuck. I'm screaming for the pass. Finally, it comes. I don't have much time. I feel the pressure of the defenders running up behind me. A quick glance up shows me that the goalie is charging towards me. It’s now or never. I throw my stick back and slam it into the ball. Instantly, I collide with a mass of goalie pads, and I'm on the ground. But I hear that sweet sound: plastic on wood. The cheers from my teammates and the crowd deafen me. It is spectacular.

            Heartbroken is the best word to describe the way I feel right now. Tears stream down my face as I press my head against the cool glass of the bus window. We're driving home, but I don't see the road. All I see is hundreds of memories flashing through my brain. How could it be over? I'm not ready to leave it all behind. This sport is my passion; this team is my family. We've torn ourselves apart for one another, only to end in devastating defeat. Our dream just died on that field. That couldn't have been my last game. Not playing is going to leave a gaping hole in my heart. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Losing a family of teammates like this is going to kill me, but it would've eased the pain to join new family that shared my same passion. Maybe it’s not too late.

            These past four days have pushed me far beyond anything I thought I was capable of, both mentally and physically. I'm exhausted. Everything hurts. And I can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing anything right. I'm so lost. I barely even know these girls. Hell, I can't even remember their names. That last session wasn't so bad. But why were we still sitting in the locker room? I just want to go back to my dorm and savor the precious time I have before afternoon session. Plus, it’s about a hundred degrees in here and the smell of sweat soaked shin guards and cleats is making my eyes water. Coach walks in and eyes us all. I can only imagine what we look like. She starts talking about this morning's practice and our tournament this weekend. She knows how tired we all are. Maybe she'll give us the afternoon off! That would be amazing. I'm so tired I can barely restrain myself from yawning as she's talking to us. "Before you all go, I have one last thing to tell you. I have finalized the roster. Congratulations, everyone here has made it." Cheers erupt from every corner of the tightly packed room. We exchange wide grins. Congratulations were echoed throughout the room to all us newcomers. I had a new family.

Episodic Writing

Episodic writing:  different structures

Select a theme or subject or topic which really speaks to your life. Your theme might be about your relationship with a significant person in your life, or with a sport, activity or pastime that has been central in your life.   You can also focus on a larger idea such as racism, poverty, fear, loyalty, friendship, or responsibility, but you must anchor these big ideas in specific experiences from your life.

Brainstorm a list of memories or episodes from your life related to the theme.  They should be anchored to specific experiences or memories so that you can present them in theme.  Try, as much as you can, to focus on specific moments.

Select episodes around which to develop vignettes or scenes.   Try to imagine the scene for each.  You might close your eyes and try to visualize the scene in order to provide rich details.  These scenes are often written in the present tense, although they do not have to be. Write these and arrange them in a way that creates the effect you are looking for, or seems most interesting to you.

The episodes are not supposed to be whole movies, but more like still slides.  Imagine that you are flipping through a collection of photos on your phone, but these photos are of some of the most memorable moments in your experience snowboarding.  What you want to do in a paper like this is to describe one picture and then describe another picture.  But the pictures don’t tell the whole story the way a movie does.  They simply capture a single moment.  That’s what you want to do in the episodes.  It’s tricky to master and it seems really weird when you first start to do it, but it’s really a helpful thing to learn how to do.  It’s like Anne Lamott said in her reading about small assignments:  all you have to do in each episode is describe what you are seeing through a small picture frame, and then you do it again in the next episode.

Eight Rules About Episodic Writing

1.       The work involves a dynamic character (in this case, you) one who develops in fits and starts throughout the course of the story in relation to the theme.

2.       Episodes vary in length.

3.       Episodes are roughly chronological, but not necessarily so.

4.       Often, a single unifying device (such as an object) can run throughout the story, appearing in each episode.

5.       Episodes are not related directly by cause and effect; instead, all are related to a central theme.

6.       If a traditional short story is a movie, moving in a linear fashion from beginning to end, an episodic story is more like a slide show or a music video.

7.       And finally, to borrow a rule from George Orwell, "Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous."

Five Easy Pieces Poetry Activity

Think of a person who is important to you.

We are going to make some lists of things about that person:

Five Easy Pieces

1. Describe the person’s hands.
2. Describe something he or she does with the hands.
3. Use a metaphor related to some exotic place that talks about the person
4. Mention what you would want to ask this person
5. The person looks up or toward you, notices you there, gives an answer that suggests he or she only gets part of what you asked.

Use these lists to create a poem.  You should include all five pieces if possible. 

This activity can be modified for different levels by varying the pieces.  The basic pattern is this:

1. describe a physical feature 

2. have the person doing something specific and observable

3. Use a metaphor or simile about the person 

4. Ask a question 

5.  Insert a twist into the answer of the question that violates the reader's expectations. 

Responding to Student Writing

Principles for Responding to Student Writing

A suggested pattern for response:

• respond to or acknowledge the content of the piece
• Point to what you can affirm in the writing.  What is effective—be as specific as you can, cite particular lines or sections… Why is it effective?  Name the principle for the student. 
• Name the growing edge in the writing.  What do you see the student struggling to accomplish, but not quite reaching the goal.
• Pose questions for the student to think about as they revise. Sometimes these can come from things you notice in the writing. 
• Suggest a strategy for revision.  It is important to offer a strategy instead of a solution to the problem.  

Beginning ----------------------à                   Final 

Creator                                           Editor

HOCs and LOCs

High Order Concerns

1. IDEAS
2. focus/thesis
3. appropriate tone
4. organization
5. development
6. language

Low Order Concerns

1. sentence structure
2. sentence variety
3. punctuation
4. spelling
5. usage

Writing About an Experience Using Quadrants

Quadrants

List ten moments in your life that you keep coming back to, that just won’t let you go. These do not have to be huge momentous turning points in your life. Actually, no moment is too small to be a subject for writing.

When you have your list, I would like you to eliminate five of these that you don’t want to write about today. You can place a small x by the side, so that you will have these in your notebook for later.

Now eliminate two more. Now eliminate two more, until you are left with the one that you will write about today. Remember, you can always come back to the others.

Now, before we begin to write about that moment, I would like you to engage in some brainstorming.

Fold your paper into fourths.

Setting	Characters
Time/Era	Meaning

In one section, note or draw everything you can about the setting where the event took place, including as many details as you can. It might help to close your eyes to visualize the scene.

In another quadrant situate the event in time.  What can you remember about the year when this took place, think of social/political history, cultural history, as well as personal history? 

In the third quadrant, make notes about or draw the characters involved in the story.  Consider both physical and personality characteristics.  Look for details that reveal character.  

In the final quadrant, put your thoughts about why you think this event might be memorable or significant. What do you think it means? This should be tentative and exploratory.

Select a detail from one of the quadrants to use as an entry point into the piece.  Write a few opening sentences. Repeat with a detail from one of the other quadrants. Continue until you have done one from each.

Choose one of your beginnings and write from that (10 minutes)